where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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