remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
