god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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