Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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