my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
