i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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