I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
