I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't think brook has ever known best
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
