He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
