So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
