So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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