peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Panties = found
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