Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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