He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just pee around me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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