I think I won the penis lottery.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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