He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
