Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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