Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
