we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
