If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
