I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
