We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
