Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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