I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
