Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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