So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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