Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
