There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
