I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
