Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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