don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
