The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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