I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
