Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
