Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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