He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We are all done wearing pants today
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
