i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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