im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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