oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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