he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
