so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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