So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
