Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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