whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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