I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
