I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize