I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
In other news, I just burned my penis
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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