dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
