Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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