u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
