How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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