kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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