I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
