kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
