Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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