I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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