Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
