some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
