did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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