Pants 0. Shit 1.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
