Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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