I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
