I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
