therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize