another moral hangover. fuck.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
